BeeOasis Step 1
The United Way is a group that helps people. The United Way might call you. And they might ask you for a donation of money. Your donation might help build a school in the Philippines. It might help train people for work in the United States. It might help buy medicine for people in Kenya.
At a local United Way office in Seattle, Allen Boone was trying to raise money. He researched about Seattle’s most successful people. Then he found something. Seattle’s most successful lawyer had never given money to the United Way. The lawyer’s name was Slick Jones.
So Allen Boone called Slick Jones. The secretary answered the phone. Boone said, “My name is Allen Boone. I’m calling from the United Way. I would like to speak to Slick Jones.”
The secretary answered, “The United Way? You help people, right? Hold on please.” Allen said, “Thank you!” And he felt that he was lucky. The secretary was a nice person. She knew about the United Way.
Then Slick Jones answered the phone. “What! Who is it?”
Allen Boone took a deep breath and began to speak. He said, “This is Allen Boone from the United way. Our research shows that you make about $500,000 per year. But we have never received a donation from you. Would you like to give to the United Way? You can help people who are less fortunate.”
There was a moment of silence. Slick Jones thought about his answer. Then he spoke. “First, did your research show that my mother is dying. She has been sick for a long time. She has to pay her doctor ten times the money she makes in one year.
Now Allen Boone was embarrassed, and he said, “Um, no. I didn’t know that you. . .”
Slick Jones spoke again. “Did your research show that my brother fought in the Vietnam war? He can’t see. He can’t walk. He has no arms. He has no legs. He has no job, and he has no money.”
Allen Boone began to apologize, “I’m so sorry that your. . .”
But Slick Jones spoke again. “Did your research show that my sister’s husband died in a car accident? Now my sister has three children, no job, and no money.”
Now Allen Boone was broken. He said, “I had no idea. I am so very sorry to hear that you. . .”
But Slick Jones spoke again. “So if I don’t give any money to my mother, brother, and sister, then why should I give any money to you?”
Note: The United Way is a real group that helps people. But Allen Boone and Slick Jones are not real people, and this story is fiction. It’s a lawyer joke. Lawyer jokes have a long history. Even Shakespeare made lawyer jokes. Lawyer jokes try to show that some lawyers are not honest, and that they would do anything for money.